The Beach – Part 1

Jacksonville Beach is my new home and now that I’m here and getting acquainted with beach life, I’m finding I’m having the best time ever!

It’s a good thing I didn’t bring my mountain bike to Florida because it wouldn’t have worked here at all.  Even though I’ve only been here two days, just couldn’t help myself.  I went into a bike shop today to buy a bicycle.  The guys at the bike shop recommended that I have no quick release anything (mine mountain bike had quick release everything), that I shouldn’t put anything on my bike that isn’t bolted to the frame (my saddle bags were clip on), and no matter what, don’t leave an expensive bike unlocked anywhere (mine was very spendy).

So given all this I decided to get a beach cruiser that is inexpensive and has everything bolted to it.  Now, I am ready to wheel.

I bought a boogie board today too and went straight into the ocean.  The only problem was, an electrical storm formed shortly after I arrived and I had to get out of the water sooner than I wanted to.  But that’s ok!  I bought new swimming shorts too so I had something to wear while boogie boarding.  They fit well when I tried them on in the store…

My first wipe out and they fell down to around my knees!  Oh, how funny.  Imagine this.  My shorts come off while I’m boogie boarding.  I can’t exit the water because my shorts aren’t on.  I can’t fix my shorts because one wave is coming in right after another and I can’t stand up because I have fins on, and the waves and current was very strong (it was a red flag day but I couldn’t help myself).  So it’s either drown trying to fix my shorts or live and try to swim to shore with my shorts down.

I choose drowning.

Soon after I made my decision there was a break in the waves so I fixed my shorts, took off my fins and got out of the water.  Only the fishes saw my wardrobe malfunction and I can live with that.

As I’m sitting on the beach recuperating from what is I’m sure the first of many boogie boarding mishaps, beach patrol comes along in their truck and announced via loud speaker there’s an electrical storm on its way and that they highly recommended everyone find shelter.

Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with this except today, not only did I walk a mile or so to get to the beach, but I walked another mile or so down the beach.  And since I’m a beach noob and didn’t give anything thought ahead of time, I found the walk home was rather painful.

Not because of the electrical storm that materialized.  Not because it was raining horizontal rain with rain drops the size of golf balls.   Not because I walked in sandals that were made with concrete, sand paper and razor blades.  No. It was those horrible shorts!   In a word – chafing.  I will not elaborate.  You’re welcome.

I did make it home ok though.  I survived this day and at the same time, re-defined beach noob.   And this all occurred after my sunrise walk on the beach.  I am so very tired right now.  I’m going to take a nap and after that I’m going boogie boarding again.  With different shorts this time.

I’m sure my next adventure will be just as amusing and hilarious as this one was.  Heck – just wait until I get a surf board!

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