The Beach – Part 3


They were about 200 feet or so from me. I was standing in the water about 50 feet off shore, just waiting for a wave to take me somewhere. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. At first I just thought I just saw some birds dive bombing for fish but then I saw something again. So I looked just to the South and I saw about 3 jump from the water and back in again. Then a few more jumped, and then a few more!

I couldn’t hardly believe it. DOLPHINS! How cool is that?! I’ve never seen dolphins before ever, and here they were, in the ocean, wild, just a short ways from me. All I can say is, wow.

There was lots of activity in the water that day. There were DOLPHINS, birds dive bombing for fish and there were quite a few fish very near me, jumping or breaking the surface of the water. Now, I know what you’re thinking – how cool! And at first that’s exactly what I thought. Then I remembered a pamphlet that I got about water safety and how fishes-a-jumping and birds-a-diving are a sure sign of things-a-feeding. I.E., sharks. But that’s a whole 200 feet or more away from me so all is well. I’m not splashing or anything, I’m just standing here in the water waiting for waves.

I couldn’t help myself. I looked down into the water and the usual visibility prevented me from even seeing my feet. I shouldn’t have done it but I did. I didn’t see anything but my mind thought I saw a shadow. Just a little one. But I had to remind myself I was in fact in the ocean, and there are in fact things swimming about. Soon after the dolphins went somewhere else, the dive bombing birds moved North a bit, and I was again, alone in the water, waiting for waves.

No worries. Beach life is good.

The surf that day was horrible. I was the only one in the water besides the surf fishing people because there was absolutely no surf. Bath tubs have bigger swells than the ocean did that day. But I love the ocean and swimming so much I just felt like staying in the water and playing. I’m sure the locals were saying to themselves, “tourists.”

As I was waiting for a wave I was thinking about the dolphins and then thought of the shark movies I’d seen. I thought about scenes from Open Water, Jaws, and Deep Blue Sea. I thought about all the documentaries I’ve seen on sharks. Even SNL’s, “Land Shark” skit crossed my mind. Then, something bumped into my shin. It wasn’t seaweed. It wasn’t debris. It wasn’t my imagination. It was something.

I. Freaked. Out.

I made for the shore post-haste. Sort of like one of those people on the sidewalk in Men Who Stare at Goats, in the scene where the blind guy is driving the jeep. If anyone tells you that traveling faster than the speed of light is impossible, I can assure you they are indeed mistaken.

Did whatever brush by my shin know I had Mahi Mahi for lunch? Was that it? Revenge? Is there a clam or crab network that messes with beach go-ers just for fun? Like from a far side comic? I don’t have any tattoos but now I’m thinking maybe having a tat of a dolphin or a whale or something could have spared me if the sea creatures knew I was ‘one’ with them.

Anyway, I exited the water unscathed for a change. I was relieved.

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